The Mothering Project
The Mothering Project is for women, carers, and empathetic leaders navigating work, care, and identity — and wondering when exactly the mental load gets its own day off.
Honest conversations about motherhood, leadership, and holding it all together (mostly)
The Mothering Project
When Your Brain Never Switches Off
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In this episode of The Mothering Project, I talk about the mental load — the unseen, ongoing thinking that keeps homes, families, and workplaces running.
- Not just the tasks.
- But the anticipation.
- The remembering.
- The emotional temperature-checking.
The part that rarely gets acknowledged.
I share some of my own experiences — from early motherhood to returning to work — and explore why this kind of invisible responsibility is so exhausting. We look at how easily it becomes internalised as “I should be coping better,” when in reality, it’s sustained responsibility without relief.
This conversation also touches on the cultural layer — why mental load disproportionately sits with women, and why naming it matters.
Nothing here needs fixing.
But it might help to hear it said out loud.
• Mental load isn’t just tasks — it’s anticipation and emotional management.
• It’s not about who does more, but who carries the thinking.
• When your brain is always scanning, it never truly rests.
• Exhaustion doesn’t mean weakness — it often means responsibility without relief.
• Irritability and numbness can be signals, not personality flaws.
• Naming what you’re carrying reduces shame.
• You don’t need to optimise harder — you need your inner world taken seriously.
• Making the invisible visible can shift relationships and self-blame.
• This isn’t just personal — there are structural and cultural layers at play.
• Noticing what you carry is the first small act of change.